Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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