the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
