I like my sex mixed with concussions.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
