Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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