She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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