And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
