haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Boobs speak an international language.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
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