watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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