if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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