is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize