I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize