I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
