you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
