I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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