ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
