But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Can you bring me the toilet please
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
