My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
