Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
