I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
