i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize