Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize