Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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