He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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