I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
there is glitter all over my balls
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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