you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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