yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
