Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We are all done wearing pants today
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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