I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
