he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
