Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
that is very illegal...i love you.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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