spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
