problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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