I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
NoShamevember. You game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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