do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
