dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
