my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
