The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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