Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
