p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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