I love black thongs
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
