On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
