hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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