I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
