YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
