Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
