She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
