I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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