So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We had to coat check the pizza.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
