She bit a glass in half.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Randomize
