I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
