so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
