wat bout pragnant strippers??
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Ketchup is God's man juice
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
