You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
