Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
