dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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