HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
is it fun? or sober?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
