I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Holy sore nipples Batman
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
