I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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